“…you gotta show the world the Thunder.”
–fallout boy

This past weekend, I went down to Atlantic City with my good friend Joel Marion to play some poker and see a comedy show.  Overall, it was a great weekend; one of the best I’ve had in a long time, in fact. 

Notwithstanding the fact that I got to party with one of my best friends, the time away was beneficial for both relaxing and philosophizing.  When I was not busy gallivanting, I was playing cards; an activity which has a lot of inherent periods of downtime, often facilitating deep thought.  And so, in my many trips to and from the tables, I came to a few realizations.  Actually, it was a single realization that I was able to apply it to a number of situations.

 The Stacks 

For those of you who don’t yet know this about me, poker is one of my many passions, and one of my few vices. As with almost anything I do, when I pick up a hobby I tend to throw myself into it.  I consider myself a decent player, and I enjoy the game enough to play pretty often.

And I usually win.  Or rather, I usually come out on the plus side of the balance sheet.

While I’ll certainly never go pro, I make enough money often enough to consider it a profitable hobby. 

 I truly believe that one of the reasons I’ve been successful as a poker player—and to be honest, my win rate is beyond my skill level—is a combination of things. 

Roman Poker Systems

While I’m certain many would immediately attribute success to luck, the preponderant amount of these individuals are also laboring under the delusion that poker itself as a game of chance rather than a game of skill.  These people generally have no understanding of the infinitesimal nuances of the higher levels of play, so I don’t really bother trying to engage them in debate.

To get back to the point, I think one of the main reasons I do well is my table presence. In poker, as with most things in life, how you are perceived can be vitally important.  First impressions are everything. The effect they have at the table can last for a few hours, widening your window of opportunity to maximize profit.

To that end, I amplify certain aspects of my persona. 

Now, I’ve certainly never been accused of having a “small personality.”

By all accounts, I am generally boisterous, gregarious and unquestionably garrulous.  Conventional poker wisdom suggests that you should talk less and not give your opponent the opportunity to get a read on you—this is not the “Poker Face” that Lady Gaga has been talking about all summer.  I think there is merit to the traditional “poker face”, but it doesn’t suit my game.  Instead, I turn the aforementioned characteristics up a notch.

When I sit down at the table, I am there to dominate—and everyone else immediately knows it.  Using my personality to create a strong table presence, I seek straight away to establish myself as, what poker announcer Mike Sexton likes to call, “the table captain.” 

That is, the goal isn’t merely to accrue chips—it is to control the game with a combination of playing ability and sheer force of charisma.

For one reason or another, this has become the strongest aspect of my game, and I do it far better than I make reads or reason out pot odds and calling percentages.

Resultantly, within a few rounds, I am generally able to dictate the ebb and flow of the game. 

When you are the table captain, the rest of the table takes their cues from you; you can dictate the average pre-flop raise, pot size,and even speed of play. That’s the idea, at least.  So far, I have been able to do this with a high degree of success.

It’s a pretty amazing thing that happens.  Psychologists call it “mirroring behavior.”  Sociologists call it “pack hierarchy” (as in alpha males in dog packs). I call it, “being the man.” 

So what I realized is that when you think something positive about yourself and, when you really make it your business to incorporate that into the way you conduct yourself at a given activity, it has profound effects.  It forces other people to view you in a light of your choosing, and to behave accordingly.

This particular session, I played very well, with the exception of one hand.  I had pocket Kings and ran into pocket Aces.  I really could have gotten away from it on the flop, but I made a bad call and lost a good chunk of my chip stack.

Oops.

Like I said, I’m no pro.

Thankfully, I played well otherwise.  I kept my mistakes to a minimum, made a few well placed bluffs, and did my best to maximize value when I hit premium hands.

Between that and not getting too many bad beats, I managed to make more than enough money to pay for the trip, the show, and treat Joel and I to some steaks at one of the premier restaurants at the Borgata. 

The Steaks 

Bobby Flays steakhouse is one of the best dining experiences you can have in Atlantic City.  Apart of from the delicious steaks, this place is unreal.  Each waitress is hotter than the last, and even the majority of the patrons are gorgeous.  The décor is splendid, the service fast and professional.

I don’t know if all his restaurants are like this, or if it’s just Atlantic City, but this Bobby Flay character has got himself a pretty sweet set up: awesome food, pretty people, and a phenomenal atmosphere.

In the culinary world (and the media writ large), Flay is ubiquitous.  Like a somewhat less shrill version of Rachel Ray, Bobby has dozens of cookbooks, at least two TV shows, and his own line of kitchen paraphernalia.

While I don’t think it would be quite the same as eating in the restaurant, if you wanted to increase the potency of your Celebrity Chef experience, I suppose you could make dinner with a recipe from the Bobby Flay cookbook, season it with Bobby Flay spices, cook it on your Bobby Flay cast-iron grill pan, and top it off with some Bobby Flay steak sauce. 

 …too much?

All kidding aside, I like Flay.  From what I’ve seen on his shows, he seems to be a cool guy who doesn’t take himself too seriously.   Moreover, if the steaks and sides Joel and I had at the restaurant are any indication, Bobby Flay is a chef passing fair.  And while I’m no food critic, I’ve eaten enough steaks in enough overpriced steak houses to think my opinion should carry some weight (42oz of weight, to be precise).

On the other hand, despite Flays fame and prominent position at the forefront of New American cuisine, he has his detractors.  A quick Google search will reveal that not everyone thinks so highly of Bobby Boy.  There are a lot of websites out there pretty much dedicated to tearing him down.

Of course, it must be said that they make good points.  While I wouldn’t agree with all of them, it is certainly fair to say he’s a “media darling” and point out that his success is probably as equally dependent on his charm as it is on his skill.

And to be honest, that’s why I like Bobby Flay.  This is a guy who has two very distinct and very powerful skill sets: chefery and charisma.  I’m not sure “chefery” is a word, but “charisma” sure as hell is, and damn if Flay doesn’t have it in spades.  I love this about him.

A few years back, Flay saw the growing trend for reality television to sync up with nearly every conceivable profession and pressed his way forward with great success.

I’m sure there are arguably better chefs in the world.  There must be. According to the anti-Flay campaigns, there are hundreds.  Possible, I suppose.  But why have so few achieved the public success that he has?

There are certainly a lot of factors, but if you boil it down, it’s probably because these people lack some of the skills necessary to succeed in the public eye.

Although he could have been reasonably successful as a restaurant chef, Flay decided to take it a step further.  And I don’t believe it’s just for the money or fame; I never buy that argument.  It’s because Flay believed that he had something great to give, and that he also had the tools to be successful at giving it.  This is what I call passionate pragmatism.

With a sharp knife and sharper insight, Bobby Flay has created an empire for himself, and in doing so brings honor to his craft and pleasure to countless foodies around the world.

And to honor his passion, Joel and I both did what we’re known to do: ate too much.  Way- too- much. 

Then  we ordered dessert.

The Show

 After dinner, my over-stuffed companion and I made our way over the Arena for the main event, as it were.  Poker and partying are all well and good, but we’d actually traveled to AC to see Dane Cook perform live at the Taj Mahal.

YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE STRUCK BY A VEHICLE!

 The show itself was good, despite starting nearly 30 minutes late.  Our seats were excellent (thanks Joel) and both of the opening acts where great.

 Dane’s performance—as per usual—was lively and energetic, and the crowd’s response was nothing short of memorable.

Cook is a bit of a hot button topic with most people; he seems to be one of those love him or hate him guys.

Personally, I go back and forth.  I have described his act as both, “incredibly intelligent, multilayered comedy” and “the over-sexualized ramblings of an aging frat-boy.”

I tend to think his old stuff was better; at the same time, it has been pointed out to me that I was younger when I heard it, and perhaps I no longer find his quixotic approach to comedy as funny at 27 as I did at 24.

Regardless, I inexorably find myself position of defending Dane Cook.  Perhaps it’s some misguided loyalty, as I have been a fan of his before he “made it big.”  Perhaps it’s because I am reasonably certain that at some point or another, someone has described me as an over-sexualized aging frat-boy, and I feel some camaraderie with Dane.

In all seriousness, I know the real reason.

Whatever you may think about Dane Cook or his comedy, you have to respect the man for the way he worked at success.

Although most comedians arduously work the tour circuit (as Cook did) for a few years before actually achieving any sort of appreciable success, Dane was one of the first to really make technology a part of his rise.

Looking at his career in retrospect it is clear that for all his humor, Dane Cook was not necessarily in the comedy business: he was in the Dane Cook business.

One of the first people to use MySpace for marketing and self-promotion (instead of using it to try to hook up with 19 year olds, like the rest of us were doing), he had some 60,000 friends when most people had 60.  In fact, the rise of the usage of MySpace itself was a concomitance with the rapid increase in Dane’s fan base.

Realistically it can be argued that the relationship between the comedian and social networking giant was symbiotic rather than parasitic, and that MySpace gained popularity in part because of Dane’s frequent interaction with his fans on the site. 

Cook also used his website in ways most comedians theretofore had not: allowing access to multiple tracks and giving away most of his older material for free.

In addition, he has always had a truly strong focus on his fan base.  What this has done for him is create a rabid following willing to act as his de facto street team and promote him to anyone and everyone.

Between his growing fan base, his then-pioneering usage of MySpace, and his relentless touring, the Dane Cook marketing juggernaut finally reached what Malcolm Gladwell would term a “tipping point” in 2005 with the release of his album, Retaliation. This album debuted at #4 on the Billboard charts – the highest selling comedy record since Steve Martin’s A Wild and Crazy Guy in 1978.

This makes me respect Dane the business man, even if I don’t always like Dane the comedian.

He was so determined to make it that there was just no way it wasn’t going to happen. Deciding,  “the world needs to know about me,”  Dane used every tool at his disposal—both proven and untried—to bring his stuff to the masses.  In terms of comic marketing, he was an innovator.  He gave away nearly everything for free, trusting in his talent enough to know that he would see a return on that.

The guy’s got balls.

And no matter what else you say about him, the attitude of giving has in many ways changed the comedic landscape.  He gave it away on MySpace and his site, and now new comedians all give their stuff away on YouTube.

So that’s why I like DC.  He may be a bit of a douche, but he was so intent on success that the world had no choice but to accept him.

The Story

After the show, Joel and I parted ways and I had time to reflect on the weekend on my long drive back to New York.

And what I realize is this:  no matter what you do, you have the power to be a great success at it.  In all likelihood, most of are probably prepossessed of a certain number of talents which we can cultivate beyond the norm.  And when you combine passion for those talents with natural ability and the will to do something with them, you become a force unto yourself.

I play poker the exact opposite way of how everyone who knows what they’re talking about has told me to play, but I have more success at it than when I listen to them.  Instead, I analyzed myself and my game, and play in a way that utilizes my natural talents.  Success aside, it’s just more fun.

Both Bobby Flay and Dane Cook knew they had something worth sharing, worth telling the world about; they just traveled different paths towards success.  They forced their way into success.  They took every chance offered to them, and made damn sure they were going to be successful.  They believed so strongly their ability to create something people would want that the universe had no choice but to let them do it.

These are the traits that are common to nearly anyone who has achieved appreciable success in any arena.

If you have something great to give, you have a moral responsibility to absolutely exhaust every single avenue until you achieve greatness.  For a while, you may be screaming just to be heard, but in the long run success comes to people who never stop trying.

To quickly jump to fitness: the pursuit of physical excellence is one of the ancient endeavors of mankind.  From time immemorial, we have attempted to change and mold our bodies into something greater than they are. The human body—your very physical essence—has inspired countless paintings, sculptures, and sketches. 

This is one area where the playing field is level.  We ALL have the potential to make changes.  Everyone reading this can be better than they are, right now.  Every single person can be great.  All you need is to believe that, and have the will to make it happen.

So when you’re in the gym and you need something to give you a little motivation, think about the fact that the only thing standing in your way is your own inability to predict your own personal greatness.  Once you are unhampered by this, you can achieve anything. 

The next time you are about to pull a PR on your deadlift, hold on to that.  The next time your high intensity cardio feels “too hard” and you’re going to bail out, think of how close to success you actually are, at any given time.  When you’re hanging from a pull up bar and think about dropping down, taste your greatness as you drag your chin over the bar.  Feel your potential surge through you and carry you step after miserable step down the last mile of your marathon.

Know that you are great, and find a way to show it.

Tell the World.

Whether its training, or poker, or cooking steaks, or somewhat obnoxious comedy, or writing a fitness blog, devote yourself to it wholly, honestly.  Bleed for it. 

 There are a thousand clichéd platitudes I could write here—a thousand thousand.  Instead, I’ll just say this: never listen to anyone who says you’re wasting your time.  Ever. 

Of course, you may fail a few times in the process.  You may fail often.  Bobby Flay occasionally creates a dish that just sucks.  Dane Cook has bombed and gotten booed off stage.  But they kept going.

Failure sucks, but wasted potential sucks more.

Be great.

Don’t you dare stop trying.